[TL;DR of your country’s history] [maps via think0]

I can vouch that the History of Canada is entirely 100% accurate.

australia; spot on. 

(via puffvianpigfarts)

I can’t believe I just safety pinned a pack of skittles to my crotch.

Right, prepare for a festival rant.

So we headed out on Monday, camped on a lay by Monday night because it was a fucking long drive and we didn’t want to drive down and set up on the same day. Arrived on Tuesday, got the stall up, which takes shit tonnes of effort because it was so hot and the poles are metal painted black so we were burning our hands as we set up the frame, then we had to cover it with a massive tarp, like, this tarp is huge, its over 12m/sq and me and dad had to haul it over the frame, fighting a strong wind and then lift the frame to tuck it under and secure it. But we did it, and discovered our neighbouring stalls were run by lovely people. Wednesday the festival opened midday, the only people there were fucking one-day-ticket-holding-tom-jones-fans who walked into the stall, took the piss out of our stock and us and walked out again. We took £16 on Wednesday, and we paid £700 to be there. We packed up early and I wandered off to see Tom Jones because it was Tom Jones and I wasn’t going to miss that. When I turned up I aas told traders weren’t allowed in the main arena until 30 min into his set (its not like we fucking paid to be there or anything) and we were made to stand in a fucking holding area just outside the gates surrounded by security as everyone passing stared at us like we were criminals. I finally got in to see Tom but I was so pissed off at the way I was treated I couldn’t really enjoy it.

Thursday went ok, we sold more than Wednesday, though that wasn’t hard, but Thursday night we discovered the music in the social went on until 4am and it literally vibrated the van.

Friday went well, but the continuation of customer disrespect started to piss us off. I’ll end this rant with a list of things but between that and security trying to stop traders bringing alcohol in (we smuggled it through a fence in the end) we were not happy.

We woke on Saturday to discover heavy rains had snapped our steel roof supports in half and bent some others, pools of water on the roof had pulled the tarp so low it was resting on the incense table and the festival organisers couldn’t give a shit about helping us out. The other traders pulled together though and lent us buckets and temporary roof supports. In the end we had to stab holes in the tarp and spent hours emptying buckets as the rain re-filled the pools of water. Finally Dad and I had to re-do the tarp in pouring rain and ended up soaked to the skin but after a bit of help and tape and tie wraps we were back in business by midday and amazingly only some incense and a burner were damaged. We took less on Saturday than on Friday and had still not paid for the pitch fee, let alone diesel.

Sunday we were just pissed off, the stall was held together with tape and the only reason the roof was up was because someone lent us two metal poles which we taped to plastic boxes to keep it standing, the punters were treating us like shit and we were just angry. We finally covered the pitch fee, and, amazingly, diesel (just) and we packed up the stock that night. The music from the social was so loud though I couldn’t get to sleep until it stopped at 4am.

We were up and breaking down the stall in the fucking sun again at 9:00 and I’ve never been happier to leave a festival. On the way home the van broke down and we had to get fucking recovered by the fucking AA and thankfully dads mechanic mate is fixing it now but I swear to god that was all we fucking needed.

Right. Some punter moaning.
They were stuck up, entitled twats who shared the view (and then aired it within earshot) that we were dirty, smelly, gypsies and they treated us like shit on their shoe as if we didn’t work hard and own a fucking business, I work from 9:30am until fucking 1am at a festival, I don’t even get minimum wage because everything goes back into the family to pay for our house and car and food and dog and the fucking stock you are taking the piss out of you middle class posh bastard with a stupid fucking name and superiority complex. AND FOR FUCKS SAKE IF YOU PICK SOMETHING UP PUT IT BACK ON THE RAIL ITS FROM YOU PRETENTIOUS DOUCHEBAG YOU ARENT BUYING ANYTHING SO YOU ARENT FUCKING PAYING ME TO BE YOUR FUCKING SLAVE.

And THAT is why we are never going back.


Anthony Head Cardiff Comic Con 2013

(via joannaschuma)

"One of the best lessons I ever learnt in life was from a girlfriend of mine who pointed out that if you wear make-up all the time, you lose the ability to wow when you do." -Hayley Atwell

(via moriartysatonawall)